who is this “st. valentine” guy anyway? catholics claim he was third century roman priest who conducted marriages in secret even though marriage was prohibited by emperor claudious ii. others say he was beheaded for being a christian. roman historians believe that the febuary holiday is to celebrate their god lupercalia after he drove the wolves away. the french believe that valentine was a monk who brought two massacred children back to life.

so let me see if i understand this. sometime around 1500 years ago there may have been a priest or monk or roman god that married soldiers, joined a cult, scared away dogs, or resurrected kids. what exactly does that have to do with naked angels firing arrows and stuffed animals holding flowers? and how did hallmark use this to decree that we spend at least one day a year feeling miserable and inadequate?

those sitting at home lonely and depressed on febuary 14th are the lucky ones. in a world that deems your self-worth to be based on a heterosexual relationship, preferably in marriage, single people have plenty of opportunities to feel like societal failures without having their situation pointed out, highlighted, and spelled out in neon letters. even the people that are happy being single are pressured into reevaluating their situation. but for the recently dumped, divorced, or widowed the weight of their pain doubles. sounds like a groovy reason to celebrate to me!

the only thing worse than being alone on valentine’s day is being in a relationship. jewelry ads encourage you to go spend your grocery money on some gaudy ring or bracelet that will probably be forgotten in less than a year. the pressure to have the perfect date is overwelming, not to mention that all good restaurants and baby-sitters have been booked a month in advance. add on top of that the need to find the perfect present and it’s no wonder that more couples fight on this “love day” than get lucky.

are teddy bears, roses, and candy really the only way to show someone that you care? do we even need a holiday to say the “i love you” words? face it, anyone who needs a calendar to force them to act romantic for one night doesn’t deserve to be in a relationship. i say that roses on a tuesday night for no special occasion are a million times more sweet than the box of fattening chocolate in febuary. i, for one, intend to spend this evening watching tv and not stressing over anything other than what brand of macaroni and cheese to make for dinner. i have enough excuses to feel sorry for myself or fight with or get some from my significant other, i don’t need some dead roman guy or a huge display at the grocery store helping me along.

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